Accept defeat!
I barely started the presentation and I was already bombarded by questions and objections that I was well prepared to answer convincingly. The client, a large mobile service provider, was making her role, playing hardball to see if I made a mistake.
The project, a complex and expensive data platform that would introduce the customer to the world of mobile internet. It was the end of a long and exhausting sales cycle for both sides, with suppliers competing shoulder to shoulder.
Unlike previous projects in which I would finish this final presentation and leave the room worried and ruminating on what I could have done better or differently... this time I left with my soul almost floating. I was convinced that I had done the best with the sales parameters that were within my control. I had applied the best of my time and intellect. The end result was no longer up to me. I had given everything I had at my disposal to sell the project. I felt relieved and with a feeling of accomplishment, regardless of the final outcome decided by the client. The ride home was like a walk in the woods...
Months before I had experienced serious burn-out due to excessive worry and stress about my work. It was a turning point in which I looked within and realized that I was imposing demands on myself that were greater than my capabilities. And at the same time, worrying about activities and situations that were absolutely not under my control. More than idiotic, this is just insane. And I confess that I was really being stupid and insane by replicating this behavior unconsciously. And worse, taking work problems into the home, emotionally unbalancing what I value most in my life... my family.
I decided never to do that again! It's simply not worthwhile!
After this reflection, I applied a new emotionally healthy posture in my life. I accepted defeat! I continued working hard, applying all my knowledge and skills to be successful in my sales projects, assuming that the loss of the business was plausible and that I could live with it well. And perhaps learn more from it than from the desired scenario.
And I confess... this happened many times.
After knowing that I had done everything within my power, I simply felt satisfied and relaxed. The result of the sale became a simple detail over which I no longer had any influence. From my perspective, my mission was accomplished and I could go home, have wine with my wife, put my head on the pillow and sleep like a baby.
In one of his famous book, Dale Carnegie tells the story of US commanders' atitude toward their job in wartime. During the war, the US military leaders planned for the best, but they could not afford to have any anxiety. "I have supplied the best men with the best equipment we have," said Admiral Ernest J. King, who directed the United States Navy, "and have given them what seems to be the wisest mission. That is all I can do. If a ship has been sunk," Admiral King went on, "I can't bring it up.
If it is going to be sunk, I can't stop it. I can use my time much better working on tomorrow's problem than by fretting about yesterdays. Besides, if I let those things get me, I wouldn't last long."
Whether in war or peace, the chief difference between good thinking and bad thinking is this: good thinking deals with causes and effects and leads to logical, constructive planning; bad thinking frequently leads to tension and nervous breakdowns.
Ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it, that is, accept the defeat. Then proceed to improve on the worst by giving your best! You’ll see that most part of the times you’ll achieve your goal. And the times it doesn’t happen, your emotional balance won’t be affected and you’ll learn a lot from these experiences.
The most impactiful events on your Life are typically the ones where the oucome is uncertain and you have to make a bet on yourself
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